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Sean Bonner recently wrote a post about managing communications and relationships.
Depending on the kind of relationship I have with someone they have different priorities in my life at different times. If a business contact e-mails me during the week I’d like to see that relatively quickly, where as if they e-mail me on a Saturday I’d be perfectly happy not even knowing about it until Monday. If my family calls me I want my phone to ring, if the dry cleaner calls I’d prefer if that went stright to voicemail. If a friend IM’s me I don’t mind being interupted, however if someone I’ve only just met pings me I’d like them to see that I’m busy and will be back in touch later. What kind of relationship I have with these people isn’t really as important as what priority I’ve placed on their contact with me.
I agree with that, (All except for the part about voicemail; I hate voicemail. But I'm getting ahead of myself...) but I think the method of communication plays a bigger role in it. Anyone who knows me knows that I loathe my telephone. The only person who has a guarantee that I'll answer my phone is Nicole. Everyone else is managed. Work exists between 0730 and 1630 on weekdays, and not a minute outside thereof. My voicemail message advises people to hang up and send me a text message. My text messages are returned at my earliest convenience. Instant Messenger requests are almost always dealt with immediately. I propose the following guideline for telephone communication:
I mean, it sounds really coarse, condescending and/or shallow, but it's the truth. Nobody can be 100% accessible all the time. My friend Dave once told me that he rarely answers his phone because "it's for my convenience, not the caller's." True that. Once you get over the shock of how mean it feels, your life really is less stressful when you don't feel tied to your phone.
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