help @ dsu
2001 - 2002 just "Dakota State University"
Zero Cool Edition!
Dear Uncle Trojan

I'm a new student at NDSU, and my parents wouldn't let me bring my 'puter with me. Where's a really good place to go gaming?

Sincerely,
l33t h4x0r

Dear script kiddie,
Someone thought it a good idea to put all the brand new machines in the WDC cluster where the consultants never venture, and the camera faces the back of the monitors. Plus, chances are that the last guy didn't even bother to uninstall Unreal before he left, so you won't have the inconvienience of having to have to track down a burn of it first!

Uncle Trojan
  Don't be a software pirate!

Software pirates could face university discipline, huge fines, jail time, stockades, or banishment to Siberia. So, how can I avoid being a software pirate?

  • Don't make backups of your CD-ROMs
  • In fact, don't purchase a CD burner, the temptation to actually make a CD may be too strong.
  • Don't install your software more than once, even if you paid for it.
  • Don't leave CDs lying around, others may find them, and use them. Even worse, they might copy them when you're not looking!
  • In fact, it'd be best to throw the CD away after you've installed the software. Most software is written well enough to avoid needing to re-install anyway.
  • Don't download shareware, you may accidentally use it past it's trial date.
  • In fact, don't download anything. All the people on the internet are probably lying to you.
  • Password protect the filesystem on your computer so others can't accidentally make copies of your software.


Dear Uncle Trojan

I met this really great guy, and we've been dating a while now. He says that if I really love him, I should let him take nekkid pictures with a digital camera from the Service Center.

Sincerely,
In love

Dear cyber-slut,
The hotornot watchin', Java codin', software piratin', oatmeal vest wearin' perverts at the Service Center LIVE for people like you to come along... So I'm ashamed of you for wasting their time with a digital camera. Why don't you just check-out one of the new DV cameras instead?

Uncle Trojan
  A message about copyrights...

If you didn't create everything on your computer yourself, then it's copyright infringement!

  • Don't surf the internet unless you have a written statement by the webmaster saying it's okay for you to download his web page.
  • If you make a website, don't make any links to other websites--you may lead others to download pages they don't have written permission to view.
  • Don't make MP3 files from your compact discs, even though MP3 players are smaller, easier on batteries, and don't skip. Others who haven't purchased the disc may gain access to the files you made. You may be liable for their heinous crime.


Dear Uncle Trojan

I saw some people in the clusters this year doing things like surfing their friends' websites, reading cooking recipes, or even chatting with their friends! I can't believe people use the computers for things other than homework! I mean, don't they read the HECN handbook every semester?

Sincerely,
Richard

Dear Dick,
I know! The computers on campus are paid for by the technology fee the everyone pays, but some people think it's okay to do non-academic things like... like... check their personal email! Rest assured that the good folks at the Service Center won't tolerate any of it, though, and hopefully soon we won't have anyone at all using these precious machines. Hopefully.

Except for the WDC cluster, of course, because no one screws with the gamers.

Uncle Trojan
 
Most people call them "emoticons", but Uncle Trojan calls them "smilies" for some reason

Smiley
:)
:-)
8)

;-)
:-(
:O
|-( 
Meaning
basic smiley
smiley with a nose
smiley with an '8' instead of eyes
winking smiley
frowning non-smiley
blowjob smiley
Super DTM laughing hysterically